GROUND BEEF CLASSICS by Reiman Media Group

Book Reviews
GROUND BEEF CLASSICS by Reiman Media Group
Oct 23, 2006, 08:00

by Reiman Media Group; Reader's Digest Association, 2006

During the course of my somewhat mundane afternoon, I went to the post office to pick up my mail.  I noticed a package from my friend Robert, which is rare but I put it in my bag with the rest of my parcels, assuming his package probably contained pictures of he and his fiancé or maybe some pictures of their dogs. 

However, when I got home, I found this inside:














Awwwwww-yeah.  Who wouldn't be happy getting a mini paperback titled Ground Beef Classics?  You wanna know something? It's about damn time a publisher had the courage to put out a book like this.  I mean, how many times have you plopped down a heap of raw dead cow on your counter only to draw a huge blank?  I thought so.  Maybe you're planning to entertain friends?  How about some beef snacks?   Oh, you're a vegetarian?  Not for long!  Just keep reading.   

The first line of this book reads: “Go Beyond the Ordinary with Ground Beef!”  Delivering more than I ever thought a beef publication from Reader's Digest could, the adrenaline began rushing through my veins and I felt an overwhelming sense of liberation.  Yessss!  I can now break free of those repressive chains known as tacos, hamburgers, and loafs.  As I read, I quickly succumb to a greater power known as beef. Fuck Scientology. Ground beef is not just an affordable and convenient meat.  It is a way of life…  a way of being.

Here are some of my downright faves from this meat-tastic book:

Page 31 - Hamburger Soup Yes, floating balls of cooked cow flesh.  Delightful. 









Page 53 – Beef Pizza (no dough) What? You thought pizza had to be made with dough?  Well, it doesn't dumb ass. Just replace the dough with hamburger, duh! 









Page 3  - Beef Balls When smart and healthy eating is a dietary goal, these beef balls should do the trick.     







Now that your mouth is watering and your appetite for beef is undoubtedly huge, go pick up a copy of this book at your local supermarket and let it expand your mind… err… waistline.

-Jason Harper

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