Lights CD reviewed by Nick Blakey
May 15, 2009, 15:26
I think I'm getting too old for this shit. My immediate reaction to this music is that this is what happens when the stoners lace the refreshments at the Womyn's Collective meeting with PCP, and in the ensuing melee someone spins The Third Ear Band (or, perhaps, We're Only In It For The Money) at the wrong speed.
Go one way with this and you get Magik Markers. Go in reverse, and you end up with Lights.
Upon further inspection, this is what happens when you steal a bunch of records from your older sister and parents, cut up the grooves, and paste them back together using THC, incense, and patchouli oil. You know, something along the lines of yeah, alright, let's cut out this bit of Cocteau Twins, a portion of Tim Buckley, a piece of the Roches, take a sliver of early Mercury Rev, and oh here, let's try some Jefferson Airplane while we're at it, and hey why not these records on ESP-DISK too (taking a moment to note that The Godz suck so they can't be worth anything, and because no one has heard of Cromagnon they don't exist, so slicing and dicing from both will go unnoticed). But we can't live strictly in the past, no, so let's throw in some Sunburned Hand Of The Man while we're at it, and oh look I just found this stack of shit on Siltbreeze. Fun! Hip! Smashing! And you know what? Steal your hipper roommate's Bardo Pond and Slits records (as well as her ex-boyfriend's fuzz and wah pedals that he left behind) but you can ignore those ones by Fairport Convention, Lindisfarne, and Pentangle.
If I wasn't feeling that Lights (especially the charlatan who calls themself "Wizard Smoke" and is credited with "Paintbox") are deliberately trying to alienate me and my kind by making this music, maybe I'd look at that list of references and go "WOW COOL! THIS BAND IS GOING TO BE FUCKING AWESOME" But because I'm not even 40 yet and already modern music is making me feel ancient and cantankerous, I look at that list of references and go "Fucking hell, can't anyone do anything original anymore?" Oh sure—I guess Animal Collective is original, but then they make me feel positively suicidal.
To be fair "Sing It O-O-O" sounds like it would make a great soundtrack to a slow motion film of humpback whales mating, shot entirely underwater, but while you're deciding if that is reason enough to go pick up (or, sorry, download) this album, go score yourself a dime bag of the green stuff, dust off your headphones, and spin your copy of the second Pearls Before Swine album while re-reading this review. [Language of Stone]
- Nick Blakey