Hard to say much about this record besides the fact that when it came on I had my doubts I’d be able to make it through it. I’m unsure if the first song is supposed to be a cover of that song from the insurance commercials or if it is just an unfortunate name and chorus. If it IS in fact a roots-rock cover of that song then it sets a perfect tone for the rest of the 48-car pile-up that is this record.
Sure, if you were wondering what your conservative uncle would sound like if he started a band with his poker buddies… and they smoked cigars in a garage that had been totally remodeled into a man cave… and listened to nothing but the first two Wilco albums and Old 97s… THEN you’re in luck.
See, at least the Jayhawks could play and were selective enough to actually make good sounding records. The Golden Boys are not. On “Didn’t I Tell You Babe” the lack of interesting lyrics is couched only by how awful the guitar solos and organ tone are. “Daddy’s Horsewife” is what really, really square people do after they hear a Butthole Surfers song in their kid’s bedroom and try to recreate it when Josh gets off work at the C.B.O.E.
The thing that has always bothered me most about music like this is that these people don’t actually embrace the shit they claim to champion. On Dirty Fingernails the lyrics suggest a life lived with abandon and disregard. People like that don’t make records as stone cold boring as this one. I’m fucking tired of bands and people like the Golden Boys and I’m sure they would reply to me with what I would love to say to them as well: “IF YOU DON’T HAVE ANYTHING GOOD TO SAY, SAY NOTHING AT ALL.” [12XU]
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